Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
