In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
