: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I understand Curling. That high.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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