hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
