I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
