his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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