Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
