I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize