I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
tell your sister to shave her snatch
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
