If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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