i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
