So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize