ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
