dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
