we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
