I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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