all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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