I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
