Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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