You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize