If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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