I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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