operation harelip BJ is a go
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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