are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I faked an abortion last night.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize