i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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