I just made out with a guy for $7.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
