he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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