Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
