now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
