I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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