I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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