The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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