I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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