I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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