Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
