I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
