its not stalking. its research.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
