you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize