how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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