That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
