She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
