apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
