Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
