Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize