maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
