I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
home. puking in laundry basket.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize