You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
