the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
