you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize