sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
