Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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