Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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