So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
