end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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