I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i believe in u and ur pee
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
