ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
