I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
