What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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