Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize