Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize