what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
