we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
