Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You pole danced in your parka.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
